This morning I woke up and thought, first treatment today. My Hannible Lector mask will clamp me to the table as the multi million pound radio therapy machine whizzes about sorting out my eyes, at last.
So Hubby surprisingly having left for work; the surprised down to last time when it wasn’t as bad he hadn’t gone, but apparently this time there was no one saying – well not at 6am – don’t drive so he went; with Hubby clear of the Rectory, I jumped out of bed – okay maybe not quite jumped – and headed downstairs for have breakfast. I need to have breakfast before my shower otherwise I don’t have breakfast and if I don’t have breakfast I forget to take my pills which I am supposed to take in the morning with or after food (apart from Wednesday’s extra pill which I have to take 1/2 hour before food, which makes for a complicated morning). Anyway while making my breakfast, Hubby who you remember had left because there wasn’t a severe weather warning, unsurprisingly returned home because of the weather. He headed to work in the study as I sat and ate my breakfast, and took my pills, before loading the dishwasher. Then I thought before putting on the dishwasher I would make the maccaroni cheese for tonight’s dinner to fill it up with the stuff I would dirty making it.
As I sliced, grated, melted, stirred and boiled I was aware of things blowing around the garden out the corner of my eye then as I turned to the sink I saw the shed was trying to take off a jagged piece of it waving at me while remaining attached, just!
I shouted at Hubby through in the snug, I got a grunt in reply – I suppose he wonder what a scream of shed, SHED was supposed to mean – I shouted again and this time heard scrambling as he made his way out that door and I made my way out the other one. Thankfully although I hadn’t had my shower I had for some unknown reason – maybe a prompting from God who knew exactly what the morning had in store and that both Hubby and I would be needed in the Rectory garden this morning – got dressed.
As the wind whirled round the garden lifting the shed up and then paused to let it plop back down again we both grabbed hold of it. A panel was hanging off and the door had blown right inside.
For a while we just held on hoping that maybe it would all die down and then we could deal with it, my head was whirring trying to think of how and with what we might be able to tie it down with, but it wasn’t to be. A gust lifted both the shed and me off the ground and it became clear that intervention was needed. Hubby started by kicking and pulling at the ragged bit of metal to try to get it out-of-the-way and ensure it didn’t go flying off doing untold damage to property and life. Then we decided to try to rescue things from inside, so as I held on to the corner and roof for dear life, he ventured inside with me shouting at him every time a big gust began to get out. Soon it became obvious that dismantling the shed rather than rescuing the items was the priority. The shed was twisting and tearing in the wind and there was a danger of both more bits being ripped off and one of us getting hurt in trying to stop such an occurance.
Have you ever tried dismantling a metal shed in 90 mile an hour winds? No neither had we until then and we don’t want to ever have to again either!
For two hours we battled to hold it down and unscrew sections, as each bit was finally successfully removed it was slid under the decking to stop it blowing away. For a moment we were also concerned that the danger lay not in the slowly disseminating shed but the plane that was doing acrobatics above us as it tried to land at Glasgow Airport. The corner of the garden which had once been home to the shed was now the mangled remains of shed and some items that had once been in there.
We were able to rescue some stuff, but the shed, its storage shelves and the electric stuff like the lawnmower are a like the parrot in Monty Python, no more!

Hubby dealing with the final bits of debris
A word of caution to anyone out there who has a metal shed, I would never, ever, ever have one again seeing how dangerous they could be should the wind decide to dismantle one. So please don’t buy one and if you have one, serious consider replacing it. If Hubby hadn’t headed back home I wouldn’t have been able to deal with it myself and dangerous bits of metal would have been flying around the neighbourhood.
ps – macaroni cheese, well with a half made sauce, pasta left sitting in the water and the cheese gone hard on the chopping board, it was ruined. At least I remembered to turn off the pans before heading out into the mayhem and we weren’t having to deal with wind and fire in the same day.
pps – the treatment was somewhat of an anti-climax after the mornings excitement, although I did nearly end up with a broken leg, or neck or something when I went to jump out of a bed for the second time in the day not realizing that this one was at least 4 feet off the ground!